Too Much

I find myself trying to do too much. But I like it. I feel as though I'm behind in everything, that I'm not getting anything done. But I am. Things are getting done. They're not getting done fast enough for me. I keep hitting dead ends and then can't move forward. For example, I've been trying to rewrite "Solamente Una Vez" for a couple of weeks now. I had my workshop weeks ago. I've had meetings and conversations about the play and I just want to polish off another draft. I'm realizing what the play is really about, but many scenes that I've written aren't fitting into the play. I've been rearranging scenes, clipping scenes, cutting scenes and I'm having trouble finding the structure of the play again. I've created a "map" of the play that tells me, (in lovely color-coded glory) who is in which scene. The play feels uneven and every little change that I make, mucks up the structure. The play has crumbled in front of me. While the scenes all work on their own, they're some of my best scenes, I can't combine them in the right order. I think it's a subconscious thing that won't let me put the scenes together. I'm stunted... Stilted? Held back. Somehow. Every choice that I make feels wrong. And that's why it's taken me so long to put this play together. I feel like I'm falling into all the same ruts as my earlier plays. In trying to answer questions, I destroy the mystery or the ease of the structure. I do too much changing. That's the problem. I change things too much. Thank God I save a different file each day I make changes. I can always go back to an earlier form of the script if I need to. Or, make some new hybrid. I think that's my answer. Hybrid.