Show Must Go On

Well. I've had to adjust to this new semester, trying to figure out how to handle the schoolwork and the schedule and find time to write. With a class in Anthropology, my workload for school has increased. Reading and writing every week. Not that I'm not used to it, but I feel like it takes more time to do this schoolwork. The readings are very dense. BUT- This class is about Latinos in the United States, perceptions and societal histories of Latinos in America. I'm learning new things about myself and the implications of being a Latino writer. I've been running away from that title for so long, I just want to be a playwright, you know? I just want to write plays! How can I find a voice for the entire Latino population of America? It seems that there is some expectation that people will look at my characters and try to decipher what I'm saying about Latino society as a whole. It's a bit daunting, but the topics and studies that I'm reading about are all giving me new insights that will inform my writing, especially this new play that I'm writing at the moment, "Solamente Una Vez" and another play, which still needs a title.
My experimentation with form and style in "Holy Schmidt!" is giving me new perspectives on all my plays. I feel like I was in a rut in terms of storytelling and theatricality. "De Colores" was the breaking point where poetic monologues tried to break through the naturalistic dialogue and complicated story. There is an essence of simplifying my writing. Not everything has to be connected so neatly, but specific choices must be made. The package can be a bit rumpled, but the contents have to be completely safe.

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I've taken to writing in the IMU here at the university for two reasons: 1. It's not home and 2. I don't have to buy anything to sit here and type. It gets me walking a bit everyday as well. And it's quiet. I can listen to my John Williams or Queen or "About Schmidt" soundtrack and not be competing with some jazz music or whatever in a coffeeshop. So, that's nice. Quiet, soothing sounds of music pouring into me as the words are pouring out. And words have been pouring out. I've gone back to working pretty hard on the musical "The Conquest of Don Pedro." I really just want to be finished with it. It't been a couple of years at least that I've been working on it. Most of it is my fault since it takes me so long to get back to the work after I get comments. It's a little like workshop. I have to have at least a week of recovery time to overcome hurt feelings and my defensiveness. It's a bit odd, but usually after that time has passed, I can see the truth of criticisms and adapt them into the way I would like to make revisions. I've never liked someone telling me exactly how to change something I've written. That's too easy. I want to let things simmer in with the ingredients I already have, see what tastes best in the mixture. How do I know that someone's suggestion would be right for the play? I've been writing it and I'm coming from a very specific point of view and that person giving the suggestion, whoever it happens to be, has no idea of this point of view. They can only see the play as presented, and while I believe a play should speak on its own, in terms of revision, there is a lot that is missing from the play that only the writer can see. Now, I've gone and confused myself.

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A hard decision has been made after meeting with Art yesterday. "De Colores" will not be read at the New Play Festival in May. Instead, "Holy Schmidt!" will be read. I really feel that "De Colores" is a personal masterpiece, no matter how ridiculous that sounds, but I wouldn't be happy with any casting of it that I could do here. I want it done right, the piece begs that of me. And "Holy Schmidt!" can be done quite simply and effectively. So, no hard feelings "Colores." It's for the best, believe me.