Vexation

I spoke to my friend, Andy, last night and when asked what I was up to, I said, "Besides trying to finish my 'Brothers Karamazov' adaptation?" And he said, "Is that still vexing you?"

YES! I remain vexed by the project.

BUT! Yesterday, I was back at my coffeeshop of choice, Cup O Joe, not to be confused with one of my favorite websites, cupojo.net. Anyway, so I was there, armed with a printed copy of "The Brothers Caramillo," ready to get clicking away. I had my new "bullet space pen," and started actually reading the play that I had thought was finished several months ago. Ha, ha. No, silly boy. You've left out waaaaaaay too much of the story to call this a "finished play." As I read through the play for the first time in months, I realized that the scenes I've been adding to the play for the past few weeks don't really fit into the emotional and narrative scheme that I'd created. Simply reading the play allowed me to notice all the places the play needed to expand, where all the characters and moments just needed time to breathe. So, now, I have tiny segments floating around in my mind, like deleted scenes from a dvd or something, flipping through my mind. The play is ready to expand, like it wants to take a large breath. Suppose that's what a play is: a collective in-take of breath, and at the end, whoooooooooo. The breath escapes and what is left is an odd, uneasy, energized peacefulness.

So, I typed all the nips and tucks I made yesterday, and printed out a new copy, ready to add those moments of breathing.

The Point

I'm at the point in my writing "The Brothers Caramillo" that I love to be at. I have about pages written and am moving towards the end. I have a "first act" that tops out at 52 pages and a "second act" that is filled up by scene titles that are acting as placeholders. These scene titles are mostly names of characters that will be in the scenes: "Elian and Alex," "Dimas and Kate." Some are more descriptive of action: "Dimas Breaks into Faith's Apartment." I always put scene titles as placeholders at this point in my writing, when I know what I'm driving towards and know, somewhat, what dramatic holes need to be filled with a scene. How many of the scenes will survive? How many more scenes will I need to write? I don't know. And I won't know until more and more of the scenes are written, and I can see how the play "plays." But I'm moving with great energy and anticipation and NEED. Since I started my new job at a bank call center in the afternoons/evenings, I've taken to hitting this coffeeshop (The Cup o Joe MoJoe Lounge) in the morning (around 10 or 11). I write for two hours or so and get my body moving. The coffee and the friction of typing on the keyboard of my laptop gives me the energy to get through 8 hours of training in the afternoon. I'm finally getting my life back into a semblance of order.