Vexation

I spoke to my friend, Andy, last night and when asked what I was up to, I said, "Besides trying to finish my 'Brothers Karamazov' adaptation?" And he said, "Is that still vexing you?"

YES! I remain vexed by the project.

BUT! Yesterday, I was back at my coffeeshop of choice, Cup O Joe, not to be confused with one of my favorite websites, cupojo.net. Anyway, so I was there, armed with a printed copy of "The Brothers Caramillo," ready to get clicking away. I had my new "bullet space pen," and started actually reading the play that I had thought was finished several months ago. Ha, ha. No, silly boy. You've left out waaaaaaay too much of the story to call this a "finished play." As I read through the play for the first time in months, I realized that the scenes I've been adding to the play for the past few weeks don't really fit into the emotional and narrative scheme that I'd created. Simply reading the play allowed me to notice all the places the play needed to expand, where all the characters and moments just needed time to breathe. So, now, I have tiny segments floating around in my mind, like deleted scenes from a dvd or something, flipping through my mind. The play is ready to expand, like it wants to take a large breath. Suppose that's what a play is: a collective in-take of breath, and at the end, whoooooooooo. The breath escapes and what is left is an odd, uneasy, energized peacefulness.

So, I typed all the nips and tucks I made yesterday, and printed out a new copy, ready to add those moments of breathing.

Addicted to Stories

I haven't written on this blog for a good couple months. There are many reasons, but one is the fact that I've been addicted to stories. I've been devouring books and movies and tv shows like never before. I'm not going to list everything I've seen, but here's some of what I've experienced:

"The Brothers Karamazov"
"The World According to Garp" (film and novel)
"1984" (novel and film)
"Capote"
"Casino Royale" (film (in the middle of the novel))
"The Prestige" (film and novel)
"Y: The Last Man" the graphic novels (I'm chomping my way through them)
"Ex Machina" the graphic novel
"Equus" (film)
"The Sound and the Fury"
"Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"

It's been literally years since I've read anything for the sake of pure enjoyment. And now, I find myself hungry for books, hungry for stories. And it kind of makes me wonder if filling myself with so many stories will have an adverse effect on my ability to pour out my own stories, or whether I'm merely adding water to the well. I'm not too worried by this new, healthy obsession. If I'm going to be addicted to something it may as well be something worthwhile, right?

Changing Titles, Changing Plays

It's rarely the case that I change the title of a play... Why? I don't know. I guess the play titles usually fit. Either that, or I'm so insanely stubborn to consider the fact that a play's title might be wrong. The second one is most likely closer to the truth.

I've renamed The Drowning Dance, and it's very difficult to call it by its new name, despite the fact that I've already renamed the file, the folders it rests in, and the pages on my dormant website. The new name? Bloodletting. In looking closely at Drowning Dance during my rewrites, I noticed that I was trying to paste in as many water images as possible in order to make the play work. But the play was telling me it was about something else. Everywhere, all throughout, there were references to blood and flesh. I thought about calling it "Flesh and Blood," but that was dumb. More than dumb, it was fucking stupid. So, I looked up the words "flesh" and "blood" in the good ol' thesaurus. "Flesh:" Meat. Food. (Boring.) "Blood:" plasma, vital fluid, gore. "Vital Fluids?" That's a terrible name for a play! "Vitality?" Nah.

But "Bloodletting." 1. The surgical removal of some of a patient's blood for therapeutic purposes. (YES!)
2. The violent killing and wounding of people during a war or conflict. (Yes, to a smaller extent)
3. Bitter division and quarreling within an organization. (Yes, again!)

So, the new play is born. Even though it's mostly the same play, there's a different feeling now that it has a new name. Why? Because it makes you search for meaning differently. Instead of searching for "Drowning," you're tapping into "blood" and "therapy" or conflict. It's a major change in the audience's focus.